Got painkillers?

Oucheth.
Have any of you ever had an ingrown toe-nail? I know, I know, totally nasty sounding, and as many of you know, they hurt like hell. I have had a really bad one for a couple months, and I'm not really going to get into it for fear that I will make you gag-To make a long story short, I have been limping around for months because it hurts so damn much.
Today I was checked out during first period (I know-why did I even bother going to school in the first place?) so that I could go to this foot/ankle institute thingy. They had me sit in this really comfy chair while some nurse tried to gently poke my foot, causing intense pain on my part. I swear, it was all I could do to keep from kicking her in the face. That would have been awkward...

Anyhoo, they said something about how my toe-nail was like, tryin' to grow out of my foot, or headed in that direction anyway. And on my big toe on the other foot was beginning to do the same thing, though it wasn't as bad yet. So, right then and there, they decided that surgery would be the best thing for me. Right then. Like, immediately.
I was all "What the hell?! NOW?!?!" And the doctor was all, "Yep!"
Some chick came in and was gonna start preparing me for surgery when she realized I hadn't been numbed yet, so she set out to do that instead.
And let me tell ya-that was the worst part of the whole surgery.
I was thinking that if I was going to have to have surgery, they could at least knock me out, ya know, so I wouldn't feel any of the pain, but they just decided to numb my big toes.
She sprayed me with this freeze-spray crap, and let me tell you IT HURT!! It was worse than sticking your foot in a bucket of ice! COOOOOLD!!! Ouch! Though it kind of numbed me, she still had to stick this stuff in my toe to completely numb my foot.
"How numb do you want your foot to be? Do you still want to be able to feel a little bit, or not at all?"
Yeah lady, I want to feel you guys slicing my foot open. Duh.
"Dead. I want my toes to be, like, dead."
"Alrighty then!"
Holy shit that needle hurt!
Normally, the doctor said, anyway, they only give the patient one shot of the stuff in each foot. Well, I guess I have abnormally large toes or something, but the first shot didn't work so well. They gave me another one. And then another one.
My toes STILL feel funky, man.
I couldn't really feel them, I just kind of knew they were connected to my body somehow. You guys know when you're playing a game or something, they have those joystick things? Well, thats kind of what it feels like to be a game controler, I imagine.
The whole time the dude was operating on my foot, he was jerking around on my toe. I couldn't feel the toe, but my foot hurt.
My sister had had the same surgery before. You have to know-she has kind of a morbid sense of humor. Not like my kind of morbid. This is morbid on a whole new scale. She actually watched them operate on her! *shudder*
There was no way I could do that. It made me hurt just lookin at my toe. I held my moms book to my face while they operated. Mostly I didn't feel anything, and that was good.
But now I am seriously ouching. I'm hoping that I can get crutches or something for tomorrow, because there is no way I will be able to walk on these. No freakin way.

People, be happy that you have good feet that are in working order. Be happy you can run for the fun of it, or kick a soccer ball, or dance, or walk around without looking like a total tard.

{M}